Tragedy : cry over this man's tragic fate

Comedy: Funny, isn't it?
Tragedy: ⁉
Tragedy: 🚫🚫🚫❗
Comedy: Well, I think it's hilarious! Honk!
Tragedy: Captain🛡️🛰
Comedy: What? Oh you buffoon, of course he was trying to protect his station! That's what makes it so funny!
Tragedy: 💀🚫😂❗
Comedy: Of course death can be funny, you little moron! Honk!
Comedy: Think about it! He wanted the middle road every time, and now, the middle road has just about killed him!
Comedy: If that's not comedy, I don't know what comedy is! And trust me, buster, I know comedy!
Comedy: Like the back of my hand! Ha ha!
Tragedy: Captain😇
Comedy: Oh, you idiot. If he were good, he'd commit! Don't you think it's better to get a spine and settle on a position?
Tragedy: Captain🚫💀
Comedy: I think he very much does deserve to die, pal! He should die here. He should die on this operating table, in front of all his chums. Leave 'em hilariously broken after that little scuffle! Honk!
Tragedy: 🚫🚫🚫
Comedy: Oh?
Tragedy: 🚫❗
Comedy: Really? It means that much to you?
Tragedy: ✅
Comedy: Well. I suppose you might be right. Take a look! That heart's started beating again.
Tragedy: 👀
Comedy: Maybe he heard me talk about how all his pals would be scarred for life if he slipped into the void. Honk!
Tragedy: 😌

Captain : Refuse Death. LEAD YOUR STATION.