WhiteDwarf: Look at you. "I wish to find worthy opponents, to measure my abilities." Well, you found one, and you just delivered a cheap shot and ran away. Some shinobi you are
That... honestly is pretty fair self-criticism though. The encounter with Chaplain was at best embarrassing, and at worst a fundamental betrayal of your whole, you know, shtick. There's another reason you tend not to meditate as much as you claim, though. Minute you're alone with your thinking, you start getting those kinds of thoughts.
Luckily, this time you're not entirely alone. Spider chitters in a friendly way next to you.