Spider: Be named Vriska.

WhiteDwarf: lament your childhood of being a filthy Homestuck as you struggle with the spiders name

You are briefly haunted by an unspeakable discourse. You'll have to circle back around on the topic of Spider's name later.

Neutron: Meet up with WhiteDwarf to be hea....what is she ho.....OH GOD A MASSIVE SPIDER! PANIC PANIC PANIC!